Generation Zzz.
What has happened? The stock market crashed, JFK bit the silver bullet a little too hard, and my favorite show, Nonstop Nannies, got cancelled. (Nonstop? I think not.) Yes yes I know that has happened, but what part am I missing. Similar to how people tried to find the connection between apes and people, I am still working hard in my lab trying to figuire out how my generation has gone to absolute crap. Hide and go seek has become Hide and go snapchat. What the heck! The international unit of measurement has gone from kilogram to instagram. If my generation is the one with the dictionaries, they might start renaming social distancing to Myspace. People complain that some person did not send the right inflection through a stupid text message. Well I hope you realize that THE TELEPHONE invented by Alexander Instagraham Bell solves that issue so stop sending lifeless symbols and start speaking. Are protests going to turn into large Zoom meetings where you send poop emojis to protest Totalitarian governments? Although all of this is pathetic, its not a real problem like Target removing the value aisle. What is a real problem is that my generation lack both interest and motivation. This is not so prevalent on the East coast, but in Cowboy land we need to lasso these kiddies and herd them into daycare.
Okay so my friend is a pediatrician and he has patients, but do the patients have patience? Well I think my dog’s 3 second attention span has just been outpaced by some of these little kiddies. “Oh my god I need to do my nighttime instagram can’t someone just tow the sun out of the way I need it I need it Oh my god.” Well how about you get off your socialist media and perform an ancient caveman ritual, talking to people! I bet right now aliens are looking at Earth and saying “No signs of intelligent life” and considering how many of these dumb “influencer” people exists, when the aliens ask us “take me too your leader” then everybody is going to raise their hand. Nobody reads my articles because not everybody cares, and hey, I’m appealing to the 1% that clicks on the credit card scam ad and ends up here.
Has generation Zzz fallen asleep? Are they taking a Napchat? As hard as it is to believe, while your opinion exists, not everyone wants to believe it.
So listen up people, NOT EVERYBODY DESERVES THE MEGAPHONE. IF YOU THINK YOU DESERVE THE MEGAPHONE, THEN YOU ARE A MEGA-PHONY.
-A rant by Mibe Ut Hertz