Pluto isn’t a planet but Russia is. Or atleast, Russia has such a gravitational pull on our election that you’d say its a planet. Before you take to Twitter on your Commie Crusade saying “RUSSIA HACKED TEACHER TEACHER RUSSIA IS CHEATING CALL THE POLICE OH WAIT THIS IS CHICAGO.” Hacktually…

I like to meet face to face, but Zoom to Zoom works as well. Or atleast, until Dr. Fauci casts a vaccine spell onto all of us so that I can smell grandma’s cookies and not just look at them through a computer screen. Either way, some suspicious Americans, which…

As Sir Isaac Newton stated, things fall and the movie industry is no exception. I’ve had to induce incidents among my neighbors to watch them fight, as even that is more interesting than modern movies. …

Hinduism teaches you to be one with nature, but these geneticists have taken it too far. Humans went from poorly paid actors pretending to go “moo” to professional actors with makeup and a costume saying “moo” to now, the ultimate fusion between man and animal, MANIMALS. We have several man-animal hybrids such as the aforementioned Cowboy. Someone lost the X chromosome in the laundry so we are still working on Cowgirls, but we have several other hybrids. The Flamango is a pink skinny bird with its human traits being the fat beer belly present on the underside. The Hippboypotamous is another of our human hybrid creations which is currently still in development. oh crap the nightquill is kicking in an

What was that sonny? Apple is going to use their proprietary custom silicon in their laptops? What was that? You don’t know the full implications of that? …

What has happened? The stock market crashed, JFK bit the silver bullet a little too hard, and my favorite show, Nonstop Nannies, got cancelled. (Nonstop? I think not.) Yes yes I know that has happened, but what part am I missing. Similar to how people tried to find the connection…

Wait what? Its bees knees and not fly’s eyes? It doesn’t matter anyway because Idioms are two letters away from spelling idiot which is exactly what they are. Ididumb is the Oxford dictionary alternative spelling of it. Gucci handbags are so incredibly common nowadays. They come a dime a dozen…